Introduction
The saying “the grass is greener on the other side” describes a pretty natural human tendency. We see what we don’t have and, because we’re looking at it from a distance, it can seem better than what’s right in front of us.
You see this everywhere. Career, relationships, where you live, your social life, even faith. There is always another job, another city, another person, another community, another version of your life that you can imagine being better.
To be honest, I’ve always found the saying a little annoying, especially when you’re on the receiving end of it. It explains what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t really tell you what to do next. So stupid.
And if you accept it as something you have no control over, it’s no different than a trap to me tbh. You spend your life thinking fulfillment is somewhere else. Then eventually you get there, the novelty wears off, and somewhere else starts looking better again. Blah blah blah.
Water What You Have
I prefer the variation: “The grass is greener where you water it.” It doesn’t mean you should never leave a job, end a relationship, move somewhere new, or change direction. Sometimes you absolutely should. I just mean it in the sense that before assuming the answer is somewhere else, it’s worth asking whether you’ve actually taken care of what is already in front of you.
Have you put effort into it ? Have you actually tried to improve the situation at work ? Have you been active and present in your community instead of wishing for a perfect one ? Have you given something enough time and attention to see what it could become ?
Sometimes the problem really is the situation. But sometimes the problem is that we’ve mentally left long before we actually physically did.
Tend the Garden
There’s a quote attributed online to Rubem Alves (not sure who actually said it first). He says, “The secret is not to chase the butterflies, it’s to take care of the garden so that they come to you.”
I like the philosophy behind it. A lot of the things we want aren’t things we can force. You can’t force a relationship, the perfect career, or even when God will answer a prayer. But you can tend to a lot of things in your day to day. And I could write a long list of things here, but I think the recipe is more often than not pretty simple:
- Show up
- Bring a good attitude
- Try your best
That almost sounds too simple, but I think a lot of life really does come down to doing those things consistently.Show up for people. Show up for your work. Put real effort into what’s in front of you, even when you’re not immediately seeing the result you want.You won’t control what comes from it. Unfortunately sometimes things still won’t work out. Sometimes you’ll put a lot into something and realize it’s time to move on. But at least you gave the garden a real chance to grow.
Be Patient With Yourself
And while you’re doing that, be gentle with yourself. Most of us are already harder on ourselves than we need to be. The world is pretty stressful as is, just work on things over time. It won’t be perfect and that’s fine.
Take care of what you’ve been given. Change what genuinely needs to change. Give things time to grow. And look forward.
Cheers.