The saying “the grass is greener on the other side” often shows a natural human tendency to seek novelty, a perception of things as better, simply because we don’t have it. It’s a fun description of the mind’s constant search for what it doesn’t have. You see it and hear it all the time in your life: career, relationships, or faith.

To be honest with you, I’ve always found it annoying, especially when you’re on the receiving end of these words, because more often than not, it doesn’t offer much except for explaining your state of being. But not what to do with that from that point on. If we accept it as a natural truth that we have no control over, it can be a mindset that can lead us into a trap of dissatisfaction until the clock runs out. This dissatisfaction that something else, somewhere else, will bring the fulfillment we’re chasing. But one you’re there, then the cycle repeats.

A more grounded perspective I prefer is found in the idea that “the grass is greener where you water it.” Instead of constantly looking outside ourselves, it suggests that growth and being content come from focusing on and nurturing what we already have.

The quote from Rubem Alves (or I’ve seen it attributed to him online), “The secret is not to chase the butterflies… It’s to take care of the garden so that they come to you,” captures this mindset. It reminds us that what we value, in faith, careers, or relationships, requires attention and care. When we tend to our own “garden” it flourishes. Sometimes when we want it and sometimes on the Lord’s timing and sometimes in ways we may not have expected. But you must tend to it.

When in these situations, be gentle and kind with yourself, you are probably more harsh than you need to be already. The world is already harsh. Work on improving this over time, not to be perfect. You most likely won’t be perfect.

And look forward.

Galatians 6:7-9